Groundhog Day

Yesterday something so awful happened.  I woke up cranky.  I literally feel cranky, maybe, twice a year.  When I do it is atomic.  It is a devilish blend of hormones, winter, general life annoyances and not getting enough sleep.

To start it off I spilled my coffee grinds.  All over the place (inner thought – Shiitttt). The dog gets excited to get out the door in the morning, but yesterday her bark annoyed me so greatly that I got cross at her (inner thought – Shut up!).  She put her tail between her legs and did not want to come near me.  Shortly after walking she couldn’t keep going because the salt was bothering her paws (inner thought – Seriously?)  I had to pick her up and put booties on her and of course got yucky water from her belly all over my coat (inner thought – Dammit).   We were making our way to pick up my brothers dog and as luck would have it a big section of their street hasn’t been shovelled and the sidewalk is a huge mess (inner thought: Assholes).  So I stepped out into the street and went into what I didn’t realize was a pothole full of slush.  Right over the top of my boots.  (inner thought – Fuck).  We picked up Preston.  On the way Millie wasn’t able to walk as fast as usual because her paws were still hurting, so Preston was pulling her along  (inner thought – Commmeee onnn).  As we were making our way we had to cross a few crosswalks.  Drivers didn’t stop (inner though – Screw you) .  When we finally got to the office I realized I had dog hair all over my tights (inner thought – Urrrgghhh).  I then went to get my coffee at the shop around the corner from my office – I went to put milk in it and the pitcher was empty (inner thought – Of course).  Back at the office every email and phone call was a complete annoyance (inner thought – You are so annoying).  The internet, it was so slow (inner thought – This sucks).  3 pm came and I had an absolute cracking headache.  I didn’t have an Advil at the office so I had to make my way over to the drug store.  The friendly cashier asked me ‘how are you today’ to which I replied ‘I have an awful headache.’  He said ‘hopefully that Advil helps’ (inner though – Yeah thanks for that Captain Obvious).  On the way back to the office every person I walked by annoyed me (inner thought – Too slow, move over, get out of my way).  I took the Advil and waited for it to kick in.  On the way home from the office I wanted to avoid the salt for Millie, so I cut across Citadel Hill.  It was really mild and so when I went to walk on the snow, I sunk.  Like really deep.  Right up to my waist  No exaggeration.  Filled my boots with snow and I had to sort of crawl out of the bank (inner thought- You HAVE to being kidding me).  I made it home, took off my drenched tights and hid away from the world.  I didn’t even call my mother for fear of being short.  I went to bed at 9:30.

I woke up today feeling refreshed with some perspective.  What a COMPLETE waste of a day.  It was actually a beautiful day here and I didn’t even see it.  My body literally had a physical reaction to how yucky my thoughts were.  A headache!  I never get headaches (unless wine or beer induced).   Other than telling the guy at the drug store that I had a headache, I didn’t put my shitty mood onto anyone else.  I am emotionally intelligent enough to have kept it inside my head.  Unfortunately, I see people reacting outwardly the same way I was feeling inwardly all the time.  My inner thoughts are their words.

I recently watched the movie Groundhog Day.  It had been years since I saw it.  I did not remember the premise of the movie other than his day was on repeat.  Phil was cynical, negative and everyone annoyed him, making him short tempered all the time.  In having his day be on repeat over and over again (he stepped in the same puddle and saw the same guy who annoyed him) he learned that it was his reaction to the day directly affected the outcome.  When he was a dick the same cruddy things happened over and over again.  When he changed his outlook and his assumptions of others, his day changed.  Presto!  Imagine.  When he didn’t see things from a negative standpoint his day was exponentially better and so was the day for all of those around him.

Through my work I deal with people going through really awful things all the time.  Like, really awful things.  It gives me perspective that my ‘stuff’ is not that bad.  Now, I am not suggesting that you can’t be cranky.  We are human after all.  When you aren’t a crank you see that everyone you encounter is also – just human.  They are not assholes (well most everyone), lazy (well most everyone), inconsiderate (well most everyone) and that your dog just loves you wholeheartedly.  When you look at it from a positive standpoint small annoyances are much easier to deal with.  Get the broom to sweep the grinds, change your socks when they get wet, get the lint brush to take the hair off and just ask to have the milk pitcher filled up.  Shake it off.  Move on.

What I am saying is that life is a beautiful-beautiful gift and you sure as hell miss out on a lot of good stuff when you are a crank.

***my dog is treated like a queen and all I did was tell her to SHUT UP.