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Idea: Better Beach Attire Revolution

25 Jan


I always marvel at what I see when I hit the beach.  I am a huge believer in the fact that any body type/size can look great… with the right clothes.  I am also a believer in the fact that you don’t need deep pockets to get clothing that emphasizes your good bits instead of your not-so-good bits.  Our society is all about liberation, but liberation doesn’t mean you need to look trashy while doing so.   Fashion don’ts seem to be more prevalent at the beach. I love people watching; the beach is a breeding ground for sights that just sink my battle ship.

Yesterday, we hit the beach and within minutes I was amazed at what I saw.  Right off the bat there is a guy that is so tanned his skin looked like  a leather jacket I had in high school wearing tightie short shorts and a rocking a metal detector and giant headphones. I guess he was seeking his fortune on the shores of Poipu.  Not even a minute later I saw something that amazed me.  There was a woman who was (hmmmm what is the best way to describe her) “VERY rotund” wearing a bikini bent over with legs spread apart trying to put on flippers. Poor Maurice was stunned and shocked.  It literally stopped me in my tracks. I am still scarred by that one.  Around the bend there was a woman on the rocks wearing a hat that was literally the size of an umbrella. I have no idea where she got this hat.  The only thing I could figure it is good at is keeping people away because it had a 4 foot circumference.   It was quite a windy day yesterday so it kind of looked like Dumbo trying to take flight – she was holding onto it trying to not fly away.

A few years ago I hit Spain with 2 of my girlfriends where there are nude beaches.  In an effort to get away from the all the solicitors (massages, beer, coconuts, etc) at the “non nude” beaches we hit the nude beach… clothed.  There we were 3 non tanned conservative (in comparison) Canadian girls wearing bathing suits on a nude beach.  We couldn’t have stood out anymore.  I honestly thought we were going to die laughing.  Lara inconspicously zoomed in on body parts of others on the beach and snapped some doozies.  Saggy asses, saggy boobs, huge fake boobs, saggy man parts… you get the picture. There was a short portly woman who didn’t have a top on who was wearing a thong bikini bottom… backwards.  Oddly the nude beach was better because there is no “style” to being naked. There is no “bad fit” when you are naked.  

As much as I would love to start a “better beach attire revolution” I kind of don’t want  things to change because it gives me great material.  Once I post this I am going to go put on my bathing suit as I am going to hit the beach… a nice one piecer that covers up my not-so-good bits and holds my not-so-small boobs in place. 


T’is the Season

20 Nov


It seems that Christmas isn’t just in the air it is in our faces now – in the paper, on the TV, in magazines and a topic of conversation.  I absolutely love Christmas.  The biggest problem with Christmas that I have is that I sometimes can’t find gifts for others that meet up to my expectations.  As in – when I give someone a bracelet I want it to be most fabulous bracelet they’ve seen in years.  Sometimes Christmas arrives before I can find that special something and therefore I am left scurrying around trying to find something.  If that is my biggest problem…

I love to shop and find cool things, so I thought I would share with you a few of my favorite stores/sites/things.  My father loves Lee Valley – I call it his porn.  When he gets the catalogue he looks at it as closely and intensely as other men would look at Hustler.  Total side story here: a few weeks ago I was at Atlantic News with Millie (the afore mentioned dog).  She loves going there because they give her treats.  I love going there because they have the best selection of magazines.  On this visit a handsome, tall, older well dressed man came into the shop. He came over and gave Millie a big pet saying that he too has a Westie.  After giving Millie a pet it seems he had intentions of petting something else – he trotted over to the section that is more “private”.  He grabbed 3 different porn magazines and made his way out of the shop.  Anyhow, back to Lee Valley…

1. One of my favorite things I have bought from LeeValley is a kitchen calculator.  You didn’t expect that did you?  Sounds boring and nerdy but it isn’t!  I use the internet a lot for recipes and the sites have mixed measurements.  This calculator converts imperial to metric, temperatures from Fahrenheit to Celsius AND get ready – grams to cups/tbsps.  I love it.  Best $18 I have spent in a long time.

2. I love red lipstick, glosses, high pigment colors, however, I can’t seem to keep the stuff on my lips.  I know I talk a lot but it is as if I eat it or my lips absorb it into my head.  I have discovered a pretty cool product called No Bleeding Lips.  You can have it too – Shoppers is now carrying it. .  I also have a new favorite lip gloss/stain – Estee Lauder High Intensity Lip Lacquer  It stays on, has a great color, not sticky but shiny and will run you $26.

3. Last year I bought myself a great pair of boots.  One day when leaving my office I dropped one of the boots.  I was probably carrying the dog, purse, lunch bag, boots, and gym clothes in one haul  rather than making two trips.  Anyhow, one of the random weirdo’s who used to hang outside of our office must have taken the boot off the steps and did I don’t know what with it.  I was so mad at myself.  So I had to buy a new pair this year.  Urrrggghhh. Seeing as I am as hard on my shoes as Georges St. Pierre is on his opponents I decided to spend some coin and get boots that I won’t be able to ruin easily.   They are definitely a splurge, but they fit so well and I won’t wear them out. 

4.  If you haven’t yet discovered Etsy your life is about to change.  I have ordered so many amazing things on this website.  The items are either handmade or vintage.  Be warning it is a RABBIT HOLE – you will find yourself spending hours and hours looking. You can literally find anything for anyone who is on your list and the benefit is that the gift will be unique and it comes direct from the artist.  As well, you only pay postage rates not the usual flat shipping rates.

5. Anthropologie.  I love it.  I can’t say enough about this store.  The best dishes, candles, décor and some of their clothes are great too.

4. I can’t not mention Chapters.  Who doesn’t love books? If they don’t they need to learn to appreciate them. Also, they have really ramped up their gifting and they always have sales online. Their candles rank up there with Anthropologie. You only need to purchase $25 to get free shipping.
Now for the guy in your life. Maurice is super hard to buy for so I’ve had to do some heavy thinking in order to get him something he a) doesn’t already have b) will make use of. Here are a few ideas.

1. Sports cufflinks. Maurice is a sports lover and he often wears shirts which require cufflinks. You can choose the sport and even the team. The link is way too long – go to and search for sports cufflinks.

2. Beer club – for his birthday I got him a beer club. Every month he gets a case of mixed beer with information about each brand. Some of the beers have 14% alcohol content. We get ours through Premiere Wine and Spirits (we also do their wine club – 2 rare reds per month) – I save on the shipping by picking it up at the store every month. The beer club runs around $50 a month and the wine club around $45.

3. – you can find any style of art. You can download your own pictures and do super cool things to them. I did a picture of Millie in pop art form and it was adorable.

4. I love “experience gifts” – look into local classes you can give as a gift. Depending on the interest of the recipient you can find some pretty cool classes.

There you have it a few ideas to subtlety tell someone who is buying for you to get you and some ideas to gain respect from the man you are buying for.