In case you get hit by a bus…

28 May

Wind Dress

We have all heard the saying “make sure you wear clean underwear in case you get hit by a bus, right?  Well today I didn’t get hit by a bus, but I had an incident with a bus and it does involve underwear. 

Halifax is a windy city.  Barrington Street in particular is a bloody wind tunnel.  If you ever want your hair to remain looking gorgeous I would advise you to not walk down Barrington Street.  If ever you want to wear a dress and not have it blown up, I would advise you to not walk down Barrington Street.

I just moved offices and I needed a few frames, so I planned to run down to Des Serres on (yes) Barrington Street.  Today is one of the first nice days we’ve had in Halifax in what seems like weeks, so I of course pulled on a super cute dress which happens to have a full bottom (not form fitting – not a good dress to wear in wind).  In addition, the Halifax Mooseheads won the Memorial Cup so there was a big celebration downtown.  You get the picture – the streets are full.  I take my oh so adorable dog Millie to work with me and she loves getting out of the office, however, on our way to Des Serres we pass by a street where she went to a groomer about 2 years ago. They say elephants have good memories, well this little Westie remembers every incident that has ever happened to her.  She pulls hard in the opposite direction when we walk within 2 blocks of the groomer (which isn’t even there anymore). So today the streets were full, Millie was pulling, I had a big purse on my shoulder and of course it is windy.  On the way down to Des Serres I was able to use my one free arm to hold down my dress.  After making my purchase I came out the door and stepped out onto Barrington.  Right away my dress started to blow up – I caught it with my kind of free hand.  I arranged my bag, purse, and stressed out Westie as best I could and held one arm close in an effort to hold my dress down.  All went well for about 100 paces when I hit the corner of Spring Garden and Barrington.  A bus came along and created an abnormally large gust of wind from behind me.  That is when the entire back of my dress flipped up and didn’t come down.  Under my dress I had on a pair of big ugly Spanx type underwear which ALWAYS ride up my butt. I couldn’t get it back down due to the purse, large bag and pulling dog.  Seeing as it is so nice out today a lot of people are eating outside on Spring Garden. 3 guys who were munching on Bud The Spud fries saw a lot more than the Memorial Cup on their lunch hour.  I had on great shoes, a cute dress, have my hair done in a nice bun and none of that matters to those men because all they saw was a chick with big ugly underwear on with her dress up to her ears. Shit.

 

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2 Responses to “In case you get hit by a bus…”

  1. Rob May 28, 2013 at 6:21 pm #

    It wasn’t till I was walking across the liquor store parking lot that I realized I had left the house and was wearing garden Croc’ socks and long pants in public. Oh the shame – but it doesn’t compare to exposing yourself wearing granny gitch.

  2. sisteranan June 21, 2013 at 2:20 pm #

    Sounds like something i would do

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