Scooter Gone Wild

28 Jan
I sorted through some more old emails and I found this one from 2010.  I forgot how crazy funny this was. Enjoy!____________________________________________________________________________________________
I just returned from a terrific trip to Chicago, a great city that I would recommend anyone to hit!  The purpose of the trip was to attend an American Diabetes Show for consumers… attendance was 15,000. Being a seasoned pro at these shows, I know what to expect: a convoy of scooters, bad breath, “freebie hungry” attendees that have less than the natural amount of teeth and more than the natural amount of pounds.  Chicago proved to be no different.  Over the course of the day we spoke to over 1000 people and ended up running out of material around 3:30 (the show was ending at 4), so we started to pack up our booth.  Suddenly, I felt like Meryl Streep in “A Cry in the Night” as I heard this shriek erupt.  I stand up only to see a Scooter with a woman (please see pic for reference) on it roaring out of control.  I am not sure if it was manufactured by Toyota, but this machine didn’t seem to want to stop.  First things first she tore right through the booth beside us, taking out their table and sidebar, this didn’t stop her.  She continued to burst through the curtains behind the booth and made a  very startling entry into the booth behind the curtain.  You can imagine the fright those people got; something similar to Jack Nicholson coming through the door with an axe in The Shining.  I was hoping the curtain would catch in her wheels, but no such luck… she busted through their table and pulled a laptop along with her.  Finally, this dramatic event ended when a man grabbed her seat and pulled as if he was on the Antigonish tug-of-war team and Heatherton was taking them out.  His efforts allowed her to hault.  I have seen a lot of things at these shows, but I have to say this one takes the cake.  I hope this story was able to give you all a clear image of what went down… I can’t get the sequence of events out of mine.  For me this was as memorable as seeing President Kennedy get shot.
 I boarded my plane to come home to find myself sitting beside a woman who kept saying “jesus, jesus, jesus” over and over again.  She got out a fan and that didn’t seem to stop her swearing… I thought maybe she was hot and the fan would take away her angst.  When the flight was taking off she informed the stewardess that she had a mental breadown the week before and was going home to Nova Scotia for some rest. She said “I am alright now, but I might get a bit anxious.”  Why me??  Why me? Thank god there was no turbulance as I was fearing for a grey hound bus situation to roll out.  She flipped through a book called “Gods Messages”… reading from the middle backwards.  Does a book make any sense that way?  No freak outs but it just added to my usual travel dramas.

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